25 years ago I was faced with my toughest decision to date.
25 years ago I was faced with my toughest decision to date.
I know it has been a long time since I have posted and it has been a journey, or should I say it is a journey.
It is hard for me to say, to admit, to write but it is the truth. I have been, no, I am depressed. I am starting to feel like I might be coming out the other side, thanks in part to something called bio identical hormones. You see, overnight I became so old that I found myself post menopausal and without estrogen. It is a long story and I only share that snippet to offer a suggestion-get your hormone levels checked.
Ok, back to this, I have been writing, some poetry, some chapters for that book I never seem to finish and have started a new one. A new idea that I think is what I have been looking for. I have been looking for ways to tell my story and I think I may have found it.
I was asked to write for a site and have published a couple of articles there and I got my first paid writing job.
A kindred spirit who has become a long distance sister/friend has started a new website and it is great, Tracey Jackson, author of Between a Rock and a Hot Place, Why Fifty is not the new Thirty, co-author with Paul Williams of Gratitude and Trust, screenplay writer, blogger and woman extraordinaire has entered a new chapter of her life and started a site called Balance and Beam, check it out:
I have written for Tracey and Paul on their Gratitude and Trust site but this time Tracey bought an article I wrote and you can find it on her new site, it is called Remember and located here:
THANK YOU Tracey!
The other site that asked me to write for them is called Sivana East, check it out here:
My two articles are Cliches and Skin, the first is a little bit about what I have been going through in the last year and the second is about being comfortable in my own skin, check them out here:
If you are reading this, then I thank you for sticking around, I will be writing and posting more frequently as I enter a new chapter in my life!
What does it mean to be loved well? I am not talking about the physical ‘loved well’ that you experience with a lover you are in tune with, although the physical aspect is a big part of being loved well. Instead I am referring to the kind of love that makes you feel ‘beloved’.
It is often said that hurt people hurt people and while I believe it to be true, the same can be said for loved people. Loved people love people.
In a world that seems to be going mad, I think we have forgotten the importance of loving well. We are often so consumed with busyness, with striving, seeking, reaching, comparing, rushing, that we forget to simply love.
We assume people will always be there for us when we are ready or when we need love but the problem with that assumption is people need to feel loved to love. When we forget to love we create a chasm instead of intimacy, closeness and connection and suddenly, or not so suddenly, the people you love are no longer loving you.
The small gesture of making time to talk at the end of the day without distraction, or to call a friend just to say I am thinking about you, or to listen to someone in need, or to sit in silence with someone that is living in chaos can make all the difference in the world to that person.
We don't need to spend money to love, we need to spend much more precious commodities. We need to spend our time, our compassion, our forgiveness, our laughter, our hurts, our dreams, our plans, we need to share ourselves. When we do that we create the opportunity for others to do the same with us, we then together create soft places to fall for each other and to love well.
We cannot expect to be loved well if we can not love well and that love must start with ourselves.
For too many of us we were not loved well in our childhood which makes loving or being loved in adulthood challenging. We repeat learned behaviours such as sabotaging oneself when life gets good, or pushing away love when it gets too close for fear of vulnerability and being hurt or any number of other behaviours that keep us small or stuck.
It is hard work, rising above our raising, examining our beliefs and challenging our comfort zones, but it is necessary and it is OUR responsibility to love ourselves so we can love others. We all too often look externally to heal the internal however that avoidance only serves to make loving even harder, even more elusive.
When we can love ourselves, truly love ourselves, we accept all our flaws, we challenge ourselves to be our best selves and we forgive ourselves. We hold ourselves in compassion, with positive regard, respect and love. Really, isn’t that what we all want from anyone who loves us, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, respect, love, challenge and positive regard?
At first blush that may look like a lot of work, taking the time to nurture yourself, to make peace with your demons or insecurities, to get intimate with what makes you tick and what you need in life but it is the key to loving and being loved well.
When you love yourself, you set healthy boundaries that serve to protect you from unnecessary drama and chaos even when it comes from those close to us. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is say good-bye or I forgive you and move on.
My wish for all of humanity is that we may all love and be loved well, I think if we did there a lot more harmony and peace in the world.
The story goes that on Plato’s deathbed he was asked to summarize his great life work, The Dialogues, and he said, “practice dying”.
Buddhism suggests the same, impermanence, become intimate with impermanence, with the death of all things.
The talented Nora Ephron wrote about what she thought she would miss and not miss when she died...Read More
NO MORE SHAMING!
I want to start a revolution – NAMING instead of shaming our bodies. Sure, we have voices out there that shut down the body shamers that call us too fat, ugly, chunky, chubby - the list can go on but simply do the opposite of shaming which is espousing acceptance in my opinion is not enough. It is akin to positive thinking your way out a distasteful behavioral pattern or situation.Read More
Being absorbed, like being deeply desired is intoxicating, leaving you with a sense of being consumed, as you would be by a lover. By their desire for you, by your soul connection you absorb and become absorbed.Read More
IF I am heaven, then you are God, for it is in me that you reside, it is in me you can be found
IF you are Heaven, then I am God, for it is in you that I reside, it is in you I can be found
for your beckoning
for your hand to reach for mine
so we can go together
I am me and you are you
I lost me in you and then you left
Taking me with you
Where am I, Where did I go?
Opportunities for growth are everywhere in our world, everywhere.
We can expand our knowledge in a myriad of ways. Bookstore and library book shelves are full of self help and growth books. Church pews are packed every Sunday in the hopes of growth (of soul saving and being absolved of your day to day sins).Read More
I have been thinking a lot about ebb and flow, about the connection and separation of all relationships, about joys, sorrows, loves and losses of life. More specifically, I have been thinking about the beings that come into our lives, the experiences we share, the memories we create, the wars we wage and the love we make.Read More
We kill in the name of them.
We hate in the name of them.
We love in the name of them.
We blindly follow a religion and its traditions in the name of them, sometimes to war and death. More often than not into guilt and deceit, ergo more guilt, more deceit, more guilt and on it goes.
“We live in a material world and I am a material girl” – Madonna
While I agree with Madonna’s lyrics, I believe we can take it a step further.
We live in a judgemental world and I know I am a judgmental girl.Read More
The simple definition of ‘space’ is; the amount of an area, surface, etc., that is empty or available for use, an area that is used or available for a specific purpose, an empty area between things.
If space is empty and non-tangible, how does one hold space for another?