Prince has left and a piece of me is gone.
My heart is broken…again.
I am profoundly sad.
Prince was more than a musical icon to me and his passing has rocked me more than I ever expected I could be by an artist.
He was undeniably gifted, brilliant, talented and off the charts SEXY. There was something magical about him, some inner essence that was bigger and brighter than this world. Prince had been preaching, praying, singing and gyrating messages of self acceptance, self respect, truth and tolerance long before they ever became in vogue.
My love affair with Prince was not immediate; in fact, it was a relationship that grew from dislike into full blown love and adoration.
I protested loudly as I was taken to my first Prince concert in the eighties. I was not interested in this type of music, I was a rocker and this small in stature man was no rocker. Well, let me tell you I was schooled that night and my life forever changed.
I remember watching him on the stage with fascination. I was gob smacked at his presence, his aura, his energy field, his talent and when a bed came down from the ceiling and Nikki started to grind I was transcended.
I was spellbound when that little red corvette popped up from the floor and went over the audience.
I was done.
I was his; he had me, in that one show he funked me up and I was never the same.
I will never forget watching the audience and being surprised how subdued they were while I, a non Prince fan was transported to a magical place. The audience reaction was clearly not what he expected either and he ended that mind blowing concert with this statement, “Vancouver, you got a lot to learn.” I have been in Prince U ever since.
I left that concert a convert, I was saved and had he been a preacher in a church he would have baptized me that very moment. He was THAT good!
Prince opened my mind, my eyes and my sexuality further than they had been before. I purchased every album, spent countless hours listening to him teach me and saw him as many times as I could.
I was already an adult but I grew up and into myself to Prince.
I partied to Prince.
I cried to Prince
I was healed to Prince.
I was comforted by Prince.
I soul searched to Prince.
I rebelled to Prince and I surrendered to Prince.
I laughed and danced (yes, I danced) to Prince.
I had weekends of crazy, fun debauchery to Prince and Sexy Mother Fucker.
I was inspired by Prince.
I had sex to Prince and,
I made to LOVE to Prince; ah yes L-O-V-E, songs like the Cross and Adore were anthems I made love to. They were deeply spiritual to me and took me places I did not know existed…..
…but that was Prince, he epitomized raw sexuality and L-O-V-E.
Prince was about all love, connection and prayer. He knew the importance of deep love, of deep raw human and spiritual connection. He knew that everything we do can be a prayer especially love.
I had an intensely personal relationship with him and his music. I admired him, he stood tall, stood proud, stood in his own with style, grace and a truth to self that I had never witnessed before – he WAS truth!
I admired that he was personal, private, soft spoken, articulate, disciplined, classy, mischievous and of very high standard. Did I mention sexy? He had all the qualities I aspired to.
I admired his playfulness, integrity, courage but most of all, I admired his vulnerability. He put out into the world his conflicted feelings and thoughts about sexuality, societal boxes, racism, love, God, Jehovah and the afterlife. He did so without apology or arrogance. He did not back down from a worthwhile fight; he changed the music industry forever by standing in his own truth, by standing for what is right.
Prince had his way with me; he could always get me to think a little deeper, to be a little more curious, to play in the sunshine, to be joyful and to explore how great it would be to be free.
With his passing I am wondering about my own truth, love and legacy. I am wondering about my purpose and I am wondering about the depth of my own trust. Prince so trusted himself that he stood above, he was one of a kind. He so trusted that he showed the world there was a better way.
The passing of MY artist has me looking at my own mortality, his passing means my passing will come too and likely much sooner than I am prepared for.
This grief is real, it is deep and it is for a man that I did not know but knew more intimately than my lovers.
There will never be another Prince and that is a good thing! Just think of the jam that is happening right now in the afterlife – God DAMN that would be good!
Nothing compares to U!